*Slaps self in face*…For the love of god at least attempt to make a good decision today

alilshifty:

I need a part 2 to this

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

Looks like he’s in pain……sheepish grin

Looks like he’s in pain……sheepish grin

quickbewitty:

quickbewitty:

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose

hailthekings:

hailthekings:

my mom asked what the d was and i told her doritos and she just told her boyfriend that she wants the d and i just

update: he told her the truth

image

telapathetic:

this show never fails me

youngstero:

my first thought this morning was “count olaf should have been more thoroughly checked by social services”

att:

#X pauses the conversation until you get there. No text is worth a life.

Artwork by Matthew Williamson 

att:

#X pauses the conversation until you get there. No text is worth a life.

Artwork by Matthew Williamson 

sharpayevons:

"At least you love me." I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away

dysenterygay:

I asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame.

"Oh, my sweet summer child," Old Nan said quietly, "what do you know of fear? Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides its face for years at a time, and little children are born and live and die all in darkness while the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry, and the white walkers move through the woods."
reginasmom:

i could not consciously go to bed tonight without reblogging this

reginasmom:

i could not consciously go to bed tonight without reblogging this